So after writing my first article yesterday giving my reasons for doing this as sort of a diary, one of those reasons reared it’s head today.

I spent the bulk of yesterday nursing a headache, caused by changing my diet up and more or less cutting sugar out. I am trying to keep it at bay by drinking loads of water, but yesterday it just didn’t want to know.

Now the headache has subsided to a less irritating dull throbbing but it’s what comes after.

I woke up this morning in absolutely no mood to get up and go to work. It’s been busy since Christmas and New Year and that is fine by me. But it is something else that is really getting to me.

You see I am currently studying to get me on my way to becoming an accountant. It wasn’t something I ever really considered. I always knew I would probably end up working in an office just because most of life outside of work rotated around weekends. Sports were a big part of my early adult life, not really playing it, but watching it. You see I was a season ticket holder at Watford Football Club for 15 years before making the move North to Nottingham.

Not only that but my other major hobby was, and still is one of them, collecting autographs from actors I admire. These events always fall on weekends, so I knew I always need those days off.

So as I said I fell into finance as a fresh faced 16 year old school leaver, and nearly 20 years later I see my only path of making a move up the chain was to actually get some qualifications.

This is where the problems lie. I don’t deal with stress very well. So you can imagine this isn’t easy for me to do. I passed my first two exams with no problems. Come to the third one, I was sick in the week of my exam (nothing to do with the exam, the family caught a virus) and that complete threw me. I failed the exam and was complete shattered.

The other problem with this was I was thrown into something new for the company I work for, an apprenticeship. The guidance I have received from the company the apprenticeship is run through has been pretty appalling. I was just getting over the exam and actually booked to resit the failed one, when I realised I had another review with the person who really hasn’t been much help.

There is always last minute things to do, things that I have no idea about and am expected to complete before hand.

This just throws me into a blind panic, causing anxiety and stress. And because of that I struggle to talk up to anybody about it so therefore not actually fixing anything.

I am honestly not sure if I am even doing the right thing studying in this way. Probably actually would have been better going through the study myself.

For a first real entry into my diary of sorts, it’s a downer, but that’s why this is here. Not just to talk about the great bits of living the healthy life, but the crappy bits that a lot of people deal with.

Life will pick up I am sure. I have a wonderful family around me, who pick me up when they can. And this is in part, a way to try and improve our lives together, it isn’t all a bed of roses, but hopefully I can make it just that on more occassions.